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We cannot stress how crucial proper communication is in all relationships; however, as humans, we are still learning how to do it the right way.

Sounds cliché but the truth is that while it’s important, it’s not easy to express ourselves accordingly. As a result, there is a lot of confusion and misunderstanding.

Learning to communicate better in a relationship can not only be a source of clarity and understanding; it can also promote trust and stronger ties.

Now, when it comes to communication in relationships, we might think that it’s just about our friends or significant others; however, it’s also about our own families.

How we communicate with our families has a huge impact on our relationship with others.

If you grew up in a Caribbean household as I did, you might have heard of the saying that goes like this: “children should be seen and not heard.” 

While this and other improper methods of communication are quite normal in the culture, it’s important to remember that as adults, we must better understand the communication styles of our ancestors and families and use them to understand and shape our own communication style. 

In case you didn’t know, there are benefits when you learn to communicate better in a relationship. 

Children begin to form ideas about who and what they are based on how their parents talk to them. If done effectively, it helps boost self-esteem and self-confidence because they believe that they are understood and heard.

It might be easier said than done, but with these three easy steps, you can put yourself on a path to better communications in your relationships.

3 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships:

1. Don’t take anything personally: I picked this one up from the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It reminds me that everyone shows up with the patterns that they have learned over time and that their opinion or comments, no matter if it’s a personal or a direct attack, should not affect what I feel about myself or my life. It’s a practice that we all have to learn and understand not only to avoid making matters worse but also, for our own peace of mind.
2. Take time to listen: Active listening allows us to understand what the other person is talking about, their point of view. It also helps us avoid saying things that we don’t really mean. 
3.  Use “I” statements: If I’m not mistaken, I learned this one during therapy sessions. When you use “I statement” you give yourself room to explore and understand what you are feeling. This also prevents an uproar from the person/people you are in conversation with. Picture being in a disagreement and only hearing “you do this” or “you do that.” You get defensive and your feelings are hurt. Using “I statements” when explaining your side gives them a moment to reflect and understand what you are saying and feeling.

Can I Really Learn To Communicate Better In My Relationships?

The answer is — yes.

Though it takes a bit of work, trust me you can get there. Showing up with better communication styles in our relationships, especially the familial ones can help support a whole lot of growth and change for you and future generations.

Practice these three ways to communicate better in your relationships and I ensure that it will open up the doors to generational healing and give you an insight into why things might be happening the way they do. 

Remember, each self-healing journey is different. Learn to honor yourself and those around you to create space for healthy communication and of course, to practice self-love.