We’ve all been there; saying “yes” when you want to say “no”.

How many times have you been in a situation where a family member or a friend, a client, or even a random person asks a question and you immediately respond yes even if you feel that it should be the other way around.

In the end, you find yourself guilty because you’ve just said yes to something yet deep down, you wish you hadn’t.

But why?

Why is it hard to put ourselves first; to prioritize what we really want? Even simple things, such as saying no feels like a daunting task.

Perhaps, it’s because we live in a culture where we feel like we have to help everyone.

Maybe we witnessed family members doing it so we think it’s normal or maybe. we just don’t want to be judged. 

The truth is that when you say yes when you really want to say no, you are losing many things. For instance, the energy, the enthusiasm, and even a small percentage of your life simply because you agreed to something that you don’t really want to do.

It takes courage to learn to say no.

It’s challenging, especially when you’re just starting to learn it but in case you didn’t know, it’s part of self-care.

It requires strength to do what is right for you but at the same time, it’s empowering to be in control of your life and to choose how you want to spend your time.

It feels good once you learned how to let go of the guilt when choosing yourself first. 

Now that you know why you should do it, the next thing you have to figure out is how to actually say it.

What To Say When You Want To Say No:

1. Thanks but unfortunately, now is not a good time.
2. I’m honored but I can’t.
3. Sadly, I have something else to do.
4. It sounds lovely but maybe next time.
5. I appreciate that you have thought of me but I can’t.

These are just some of the things you can say when you want to politely say no to another person. If you’ve decided to take control and challenge yourself by doing something you’re uncomfortable with, here are more tips.

Helpful Tips When You Want To Say No Instead Of Yes

• The most important tip: don’t lie. Lying is not only bad, it will also leave you feeling guilty, which is the feeling you don’t want in the first place.
• Often, there’s no need to apologize, make excuses, or reason out.
• Be direct. Don’t leave the other person thinking about what you really want to say. Say “no,” “I can’t do it,” or “I don’t want to.”
• Like other things, it requires practice. You can stand in front of the mirror when doing this or just imagine talking to a friend and saying no to something you don’t want to do.
• Stay polite by saying “Thanks for asking” or “Thanks for thinking of me.”

Above all, always remember that your self-worth is not based on how much you’ve done for another person. Remember that what you think and feel should come first.

It’s not selfish; it’s self-care.

I hope you’ve learned from this and if you have comments or additional tips on how to say no instead of saying yes, feel free to share it in the comment box below.